Ahhhh! I'll bet you were thinking I would finish that...I'm not. All you OCD people out there can just be OCD, because doggone it...it's my joy to pick on the OCD. Twwwwoooo biii...Nope. HAHAHA!
Okay, now that I have caused chaos, let's talk about shaving. To be honest, as a girl I have only ever shopped for girl things. How sexist of me, I know; however, it is what it is. Walking up and down the isles seeing all those pinks and baby blues, powder scents, flowers. Not to mention the allure of the tortuous chemical hair removal, wax strips, and the ever soothing and comfortable Epilady...Ever wonder why women are so cranky? Take a walk through the woman's hair removal section. The implements of torture are darned pretty though. Before I get too far into the hilarity, let me just bring up that I am also a penny pincher. My exploration not only brings me away from the ladies section, but it also forces me to leave the awesome-deal section. I have 5 kids, 2 of them are girls, one of them is a husband. That's a lot of razors. Up until this point, I would be just as happy using a butcher knife to shave my legs if it saved me a few dollars to use elsewhere.
Just like the men, we ladies have quite the selection and we really want to have an easy smooth shave too, mostly though, because we don't want to do it every day. It's a stupid job and ranks right up there with scrubbing floors and folding socks.
I see these men with these big fantastic beards in magazines and think, "That could be me, wrapped in plaid flannel surrounded by deer heads, sitting by the fire with my armpits all warm and cozy..."
Okay, no. But, the fact remains that there are endless pages of reviews dedicated to the close and comfortable shaves for men with tree-stump stubble and gnarly beards to hack through. I have one of those stubbly titanium-laden beard men who spends insane amounts of money on razors with not one, not two, not three, but 5 blades to hack through that facial forest. The funny part of this story is when he brags about being able to get 6 or more shaves out of one of his fancy blades, yet if I use his fancy blade (always the one in the razor that has been used before) in a pinch, on my flimsy girl hairs, he instantly knows and you would think I ran his razor over a chunk of wood while he isn't looking. The blade imidiately goes in the trash with a manly sigh of disgust every time. Every time. How could he possibly know!? He has five blades covered in lube with flex balls and safety wires, swiveling heads, and canned angel song with every blade. He goes into battle every day with Excalibur in hand, the sun glinting from 4 or 5 stainless steal blades. If I was a whisker, I would jump ship before going into battle with that, and yet, the soft, dainty, downy fur of the house mother can destroy this weapon of choice, like the flames of Mount Doom, the Ring.
...It was then and there, I decided to explore the wonders of the man shave and report such as...you know...a woman.
My weapon of choice? The Gillette Fusion Proshield Men's Razor with Flexball Handle and Razor Blade Refills, 2 Count
After doing some research on Amazon, I have found this to be a favorite among the men. We have Lubrication before and after the blades. 360 degrees of solid slime to guide those 5 ultra thin, laser precision blades across the contours of your body, --contours that are further thwarted by the innovative flex ball technology. The added bonus of a precision trimmer for those tiny hard to reach areas where precision is key. Okay, I don't have a mustache or ear hair, but I do have eyebrows in need of the occasional tame and those few toe hairs that belie my true hobbit ancestry. I have all the landscape to test this product thoroughly and so, the purchase was made.
Without going into all the gory details, I did find the product to be more comfortable than what I am used to, though I can't say that I have ever experienced such razor burn before. With all the lubrication strippage fore and aft the blades, I still had some discomfort in that particular area. However, the entire act of shaving seemed to go faster in that I only had to go over an area once. That was nice, though being used to a heavier hand with my cheaper, more girly products, I experienced more nicks and cuts during my first try. Frankly, you would have thought I was a 12 year old angsty tween hacking away at my legs with a bar of ivory soap and mom's trusty get-it-done shaver. I needed a little practice. Luckily, I had extra blades to fight another day.
...and I did. Really, once you are used to it, it is a very nice tool and I attribute my initial issues to the fact that I am used to a product that relies more on visual pleasantries than function. The accessory blade annihilated the hobbit hairs in one pass, though it was far too cumbersome to attempt eyebrow grooming. Sorry. I like my eyes. Not going there.
The bottom line? I kind of liked it. It did a better job than what I had in that is was faster, the tool actually does all the work--which sounds kind of stupid, but I guess men can understand. This not only made me look more critically as to why a good shave is so important to men, but it made me think again about what I want to see in a women's razor. Multiple blades, sharp blades DO make a difference. A flexible head and the ability to swivel easily over the landscape with a lighter hand saves you from being cut. It, frankly, hurts less overall because you don't have to make several passes, less burn (I can't say no burn until you have practiced a bit ladies), though I am not seeing 6 or 7 shaves out of one blade. I haven't figured out that particular phenomena; however, after some time behind the wheel, as a woman, I am keeping this product as my own as it is becoming a favorite. Ladies, if you haven't found anything that makes you really happy while wondering the hallowed halls of lady hair removal, take a stroll through the "man" section. Sometimes, they do know what they are talking about.
You're welcome, men.
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